


Mutua Est

by Lady Adain (pocketTherapist)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Outsider, UraIchi Week 2018, hiyori is tired of your sulking, shinji just wants everyone to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:37:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketTherapist/pseuds/Lady%20Adain
Summary: “Look, moron, everyone knows you two are gone for each other. You stopped watching him like an experiment and started watching him like a puppy almost three years ago. A year and a half ago he started watching you the same way. However, you are the most emotionally blind idiot in the world, and Ichigo wouldn’t know romance if it hit him over the head. Literally."





	Mutua Est

**Author's Note:**

> UraIchi Week 2018, Day 4--Mutual Pining | Getting Together | Outsider POV

Look, Hiyori doesn’t  _ like _ Kisuke. He’s too tall, too skinny, too sneaky, too much brilliance under too much stupidity. But he  _ was _ her captain for a decade, and he  _ did _ break orders and got himself exiled saving their lives. So no, she doesn’t like Kisuke. But she does owe him. So when she sees him starting to pull his idiotic shit again, locking himself away after the war and hardly bothering to come out even for food, she decides enough is enough.

 

He actually startles when she kicks her way through the door, which is a sign in and of itself that he’s been left alone too long. Hiyori doesn’t do sappy shit, though, so she just pulls Urahara down to face level by her hold on his robes and demands to know what the fuck is wrong  _ now _ . 

 

“Aizen is dead. We won. The old geezers pardoned us. And yet, here you are  _ sulking _ . What the fuck is wrong, you moron?”

 

Kisuke gives her the fake smile and head tilt she’s personally labeled as number seven, the “I don’t know what you’re talking about and won’t even if you beat my head in with it.” Hiyori  _ really _ doesn’t like that smile, because it means that Kisuke is having feelings and has also decided that they’re unimportant and therefore won’t talk about them.

 

“Oh my  _ god _ you imbecile is this about the brat again?”

 

Kisuke slips for an instant, grey eyes widening marginally before he wrestles himself back under control. Luckily for everyone involved, Hiyori is very nearly as fluent in Kisuke-speak as Yoruichi and Tessai by now. 

 

“Yes, of  _ course _ we noticed! Half the Gotei 13 knows! Shunsui started a  _ betting pool _ as to when the two of you would get together!  _ Rukia gave you a shovel talk how did you miss this _ .”

 

Kisuke blinks at her. He doesn’t go nonverbal all that often, actually, but he’s clearly not in a talking mood and she’s not gonna bother to drag words out of him when they aren’t coming. So she sighs and lets him go, hopping up to the only clear space on his desk and seating herself. 

 

“Look, moron, everyone knows you two are gone for each other. You stopped watching him like an experiment and started watching him like a puppy almost three years ago. A year and a half ago he started watching you the same way. However, you are the most emotionally blind idiot in the world, and Ichigo wouldn’t know romance if it hit him over the head. Literally.

 

“So no, I don’t care how much older you are or how many people you’ve killed, you love the idiot and the idiot loves you, for some completely incomprehensible reason, and if you think  _ he _ cares about your past you’re even dumber than I thought. As long as you aren't literally murdering people in front of him for no good reason, he  _ will not care _ . Now get your head out of your ass and go talk to him or so help me, I will, and then none of us will be happy and I'll have to kick both your asses.”

 

Kisuke holds up both hands in a placating motion, nodding frantically at the threat and already backing away. As if that would save him. She's had her sandal primed to fly since she sat down. Idiot. The two of them deserve each other. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Shinji dislikes things that interfere with his reacquaintance with the simple pleasures of life, like sake and late afternoon naps. This means that the brat currently attempting to drink himself into oblivion in the corner is about to bear the full force of Shinji’s displeasure. Hero of the war or not, Shinji has very nearly eight centuries on the kid, and he's learned that very frequently things are not as bad as they seem. Cept Aizen, that was actually worse. But Aizen is  _ dead _ , so Shinji has no idea what Ichigo is angsting about now. 

 

Still, he's kinda the kid's mentor, and that means that it's his responsibility to make sure nothing is actually wrong. More or less. 

 

Ichigo doesn't even look up when Shinji plops down next to him. 

 

“All right, brat, lay it on me. When's the next apocalypse?”

 

Ichigo finally focuses on him, squinting confusedly through bleary eyes. Christ, has he even slept since Aizen died? He looks awful. He finally manages a vaguely coherent, “... huh?”

 

“Well, got ta have  _ some _ reason for all the moping, right? Now fer real, what’s goin’ on?” 

 

Ichigo  _ blushes _ , and that’s about all the confirmation Shinji really needs, but he waits for Ichigo to say it anyway. It takes a few minutes, but eventually, words come tumbling out, more or less understandably.

 

“It’s Urahara, okay? I don’t… I know he’s not interested, but, like, he’s just…  _ ugh _ .” 

 

And with that stunningly apropos description, Ichigo thunks his head down on the table and does a halfway decent job of pretending that Shinji doesn’t exist. His face is bright scarlet, but Shinji waits some more (he’s gotten pretty good at that) and eventually Ichigo just mumbles,

 

“I know he’s not perfect, okay, and he’s kind of fucked up and did some bad shit and doesn’t always know when he should back off, but he’s also brilliant and he really does care in his own way and he always tries to take care of everyone and he’s been trying to  _ fix _ his scewups for forever now even though he doesn’t ever think he’ll be able to and…”

 

He trails off, and Shinji is left to wonder  _ why is this his life. _ Why is it left to explain to the brat that the idiot scientist he’s head over heels for is actually also head over heels for him and has been for years?

 

“Kid, look…” Ichigo clearly doesn’t need any more to drink, so Shinji swipes what’s left of the alcohol and drains the entire thing. “Kisuke is so in love with ya he can’t even think straight. The man decimated a literal army of Arrancar because he thought ya might be having trouble against Aizen. He invented a gigai  _ just for you _ so you could interact with yer family. Every time you’re anywhere near him, he watches ya. And not like an experiment, either. The besotted idiot just likes bein’ around ya. It’s obvious ta anyone with eyes. So why the hell are ya just sitting here moping? Just walk up and set yerself down in his lap and promise ta never leave and he’ll be yours fer the rest of eternity. ‘S easy.” 

 

Slowly, throughout this diatribe, Ichigo’s head has turned to allow him to bestow an incredulous stare on Shinji. It lights up more and more, though, and yup, that boy’s as in love with Kisuke as Kisuke is with him. 

 

“I…. You think so? Really?”

 

“What did I  _ just say,  _ brat? Yes, the man thinks ya hung the damned stars. So sober up and go fuckin’  _ talk to him _ . Use yer words. Reassure him it’s not a prank and yer serious, and then when he tries ta protest anyway, kiss him silly. The end.” 

 

Ichigo lights the fuck up, thanks him, and takes off as if he doesn’t have a blood alcohol content that would poison most humans. 

 

Shinji sighs and waves down the bartender. He’s too old for this sort of crap. 

  
  
  
  


They run into each other, almost literally, just outside the edge of Division 14, where Kisuke’s new labs are located. Kisuke’s still mostly nonverbal and Ichigo’s drunk, and they pretty much just trip all over themselves and each other like the idiots they are. 

 

At least, right up until Ichigo stumbles, Kisuke moves to catch him, and they both end up against the wall, Kisuke pinned with one of Ichigo’s hands on either side of his head, trademark hat nowhere to be found.

Ichigo’s eyes are nowhere near as glazed as they should be, and the smirk that curls his lips sends a thrill down Kisuke’s spine. He’s not really that drunk at all, it seems. 

 

Kisuke can’t breathe. Ichigo is an inch from his face and it’s everything Kisuke has ever wanted. 

 

At least, if Ichigo closes the distance between them. Kisuke never would have taken the boy for a tease, but…

 

Oh. Ichigo’s waiting for  _ him _ . To say yes. 

 

He doesn’t need a verbal answer for that. 

 

He reaches up, tangles his fingers in silky orange hair, and tugs Ichigo downward an inch. 


End file.
